“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”
Proverbs 15:4 ESV
Dictionary.com defines perverse as: willfully determined or disposed to go counter to what is expected or desired; contrary.
The BSB renders our verse: “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”
The NLT uses the phrase “a deceitful tongue.”
The interlinear Hebrew reads: “A healing tongue is a tree of life, but crookedness in it is a breaking of the spirit.”
A breaking of the spirit speaks to me of something that separates unity—a division. Since Jesus’ words are spirit and life, we will take His words as the full measure of that tree of life. In this verse, perverseness would be a word that is contrary to God's declaration. Jesus reminds us that a house divided against itself cannot stand. Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”They cannot. First Corinthians 6:17 reminds us that the one joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. We guard our spirit by watching the words we speak.
I cannot overemphasize the necessity of weighing our words carefully. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Galatians 5 reminds us that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Paul wrote to Timothy, reminding him that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
The following HELPS Word Studies entry shows that a sound mind is closely connected to discipline and self-control:
Cognate: 4995 (a masculine noun derived from 4998 /sṓphrōn, "truly moderate") – properly, safe-minded, issuing in prudent ("sensible") behavior that "fits" a situation, i.e. aptly acting out God's will by doing what He calls sound reasoning (used only in 2 Tim. 1:7).
This tells me that self-control is a choice. While we are given the ability through the power of the Holy Spirit, we must still choose to follow His leading.
Growing up into Him in all things requires the exercise of spiritual disciplines—the repeated practice of those things that build and strengthen our lives spiritually. Habitual practice profoundly shapes character. Learning to restrain our words and align them with God can be as challenging as taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, but it is oh so necessary.
A gentle tongue is literally one that carries healing.
A gentle tongue holds back corrupt communication.
A gentle tongue is aware of the hearer and their need for grace.
A gentle tongue preserves oneness in relationships.
A gentle tongue is a tree of life.